No Sex On the Fancy Couch

No sex on the fancy couch?

Don’t let this pic fool you…..

Huh?

Yeah you read that correctly.

No sex on the fancy couch.

Yes that is a rule I have. Yes the idea to write a blog about it was my husbands.

It has taken me awhile to correlate this phrase with life, but here it is.

My fancy couch, its seriously fancy. It is all white, curved shaped and really only big enough for two to sit on. I think the pattern is damask but again, its all white.

The fancy couch sits in my fancy front room and I spend my mornings and most of my work hours on this couch. I am sitting on it now actually.

So those might be a few of the reasons why no funny business happens on it. Solid white, right by the front door and front windows, my space to think, and well lets dive deeper.

I am a germaphobe. I don’t want my couch contaminated with bodily fluids. Since I am the one who cleans all the things in my house I do not want to have to clean that off of something this nice.

This is my thinking couch and my place of peace and contemplation. I can’t muddy up the works with thoughts of you know what distracting my peace.

Do I have other random rules like this that I uphold myself too? Oh you bet!

These rules keep me on track. They keep me organized. They keep me in shape.

But seriously, why no sex on the fancy couch?

What does it really mean?

It means to set some boundaries.

Yes set boundaries!

You don’t have to just sit there and take it. (right, get it?)

Set boundaries for yourself and if anyone tries to break them then they need to go.

You can tell people no.

YES!! You can tell people NO!

And you absolutely should. No doesn’t mean you are trying to hurt others it means you respect yourself and know what you do and don’t want. You do not have to do things that compromise your inner beliefs and truths just because it will make someone else feel better.

Women we are so guilty of doing things we don’t truly want to because we have this symptom or precondition that hits us during puberty to care about relationships. Like an instinctual thing that is there to get us to care about finding a mate or raising and caring for our children. So yes it is a good thing to care for your children and actually raise them, but to be so concerned about the relationship with your partner that you bend your beliefs to just keep the peace. That’s BS. And guess what? I am guilty of it.

I am slowly recovering from this and working on teaching my daughter to not be that way. If your partner is asking something of you that is not what you are ok with, tell them no. Dudes say no all the time and don’t care about feelings. Yep. I said it. Dudes don’t care about feelings. Not as deeply as women, not ever in my experience.

I am not saying don’t care ever. I am so deeply caring and feeling and empathetic by nature and I don’t want to lose that. I just don’t allow it to take over with people I know who are not the same way. They don’t deserve it.

Life is too short to try and please people if it goes against keeping your soul at peace.

Stand your ground, know what you truly want and don’t be afraid to say no.

So no. There will be no sex on the fancy couch.

There’s plenty of others places for that.